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Poor Mr. Thorne Retreats to the..
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Susceptibility to Advertising
I Have "Haxxored" Your Mindset
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I Have "Haxxored" Your Mindset
Monday, February 02, 2009 by scott

Update: It appears that Mr. Thorne has finally realized the folly of his ways and he has removed all evidence of his ruse against me from his website. It was indeed unwise to make all of his readers aware of his terrible tricks! He even had the gall to publish a false email from me to him asking him to remove the links! Well, I have saved a screenshot of his nonsense for you to peruse. It is clear that I have won the argument, and am vindicated.

Update II: He's added back a link to his "original" mockery of me. I say "original" with quotes because he has removed "Mintred" from it (along with some of his less clever writing) in an obvious ploy to prevent his family and friends fans from Googling my site. Again, I can hardly blame him. Oh, and the email from "me" to him at the bottom of his current page? It's dated almost a month prior to my even visiting his site (see here). Thanks for helping to prove my points!

Update III (can't resist): He fixed the date on the fake email, but he's neglected to realize that it's still retarded. He claims he updated his site with the email on the day before he claims to have received the email.

For those readers of mine that do not regularly patronize Mr. Thorne's site, let me alert you to his latest fakery: He published this concoction after my previous article, so of course I was caught unawares.

I had considered this matter closed. My powerhouse journalism of powerhouse proportions (I know at least one reader whom loves the word "powerhouse", so I will try to work it in as best as possible) clearly upset some of Mr. Thorne's friends and family international fans, as seen in the comments of my last article.

I say to those readers that it's OK with me that you are upset. Your hero was not all you thought he was, and so you come here as if it's somehow my fault for merely exposing the truth!

For example, Alexis from France asks, "I was just wondering if you asked David's permission before posting a private email conversation on your website."

No Alexis, I did not ask for his permission. I also don't like you questioning my powerhouse journalistic methods! Would you get angry at Stone Philips for broadcasting a conversation he'd had with some jailhouse snitch? (Stone Philips is some kind of shitty reporter here, in case you do not receive him in France).

Urov from His Own Ass joins in with another commenter, "I notice that as well. All girls on computer screens very nice except one on black computer screen with really big fat bottom of disgusting pig."

Yes, well done. Did you not understand any part of my articles because the words were too big? The image was faked, as was everything on Mr. Thorne's site. Please direct any complaints about the images to David Thorne himself.

Someone Too Scared of Being Investigated by My Masterful Journalism to Leave Their Name: "surely you must be getting embarrassed by now?"

Why would I be embarrassed by supporters of David mocking me? You are hardly the most objective group, and as I said, your being upset is quite understandable. I feel for you, I really and hardily do.

And yes, my web logs collect IP addresses. Web servers have been able to do this since 1994. I do not know why it continues to surprise everyone, though I can take a few guesses.

Now that all of your concerns are addressed and you are all mollified, let me tell you something that may shock you: I found David's website to be quite humorous! In fact I have emailed him to tell him so!

I was even so obsessed with finding out more about him and his fascinating life that I hacked into his computer using one of my 30-odd "mainframes" to further investigate his character. Most of you are probably thinking something along the lines of "derrr, I didn't tink hee could due dat?". I most certainly can and did "due dat". Here is some proof:

Any computer expert will tell you that
I have obviously hacked into his computer.

Of course a man's computer (in this case a purple iMac) is filled with all sorts of things too numerous to list here. My most interesting find was a collection of mock-ups for his now-infamous website, I present two of them now, for your benefit and you may click on them to enlarge and read the full text of his genius!

The first one is a bit raw, and surely does not fully represent the edge in today's design of 27b/6. The file was dated September 05, 2006, so keep in mind that it is a very early design attempt. It is also perhaps too Lucius-friendly for the comfort of you, his readers:

The second one is closer to what we see now on Mr. Thorne's site, and we can see that his mind was at work already on the spider ruse. His article titles could also use some polishing, but this file was dated April 24, 2007, and you can see how far he came in only 7 months:

I am glad to have helped enlighten David's fan base. As I said, I am a fan of his writing as well, so surely you would appreciate this information coming from "one of your own".

As for the Man Whom Wants $40 to Replace his Keyboard: Absurd! What kind of keyboard are you foolishly using? Is it made of bronze, or are you quoting the price in some currency you made up? If you are simply trying to extort money from me, then you can go to hell. If, however, you feel that your complaint is valid, then feel free to email me so that we may discuss it.
(40 to 354)
  Scott's a Weiner
  Thankyou for emailing me the link to this pointless/stupid article, Scott. Not that I asked.

If you're checking IP addresses, you'll have noticed that it's dropped another point in popularity - by someone who ISN'T me.

Why not try writing something good? Or funny? Or just stop writing at all?
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by Adrian
  Adrian's Difficulty with Possessive Tense
  You're quite welcome. I had not asked for your email, nor the enclosed link to David's website, but you'd sent it anyway. I was only trying to level the playing field, and yet you dare accuse me!?

Another of you IP-address-obsessed ninnies. Fine, you're an individual, completely separate from everyone else. You are great and special and distinct, and everyone loves you.

I have tried and succeeded in writing many funny things, and you only show your lack of taste by lambasting it.
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by scott
  I was wondering why you went so quiet. I thought maube you were on your way to Australia to beat it out but no, you have been busy on this masterpiece of creative genius.

  Monday, February 02, 2009 by Kelly
  no idea or talent
  "you do not need to think of clever things to put on your website, so long as it is arranged in a pleasing fashion."

You do realise that this is now 3 pages dedicated to David and screams of desperation? Also your website is not pleasing to the eye in any manner and also contains not one clever idea or funny page. You are just embarrassing yourself.
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by Kwlly
  To Scott the angry little man
  I thought the saddest part of this page is where he tries to write like David does on the second panel and shows us why he is such a failure. Have you thought about getting a real job Scott? Or now that you have more than 5 hits due to riding Davids popularity, do we get to see a fourth, fifth, ninetieth page dedicated to your fixation with him?
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by Jackie
  Dear Kwlly
  Awww, are you stiww mad at me? Wet me gewt you a tissuew.

Surely you must realize that this was a response to comments (you being amongst the commenters), and not directed at David? If it makes you feel better, my next article will probably be a cartoon on an unrelated subject because I have been itching to draw one of my excellent and upstanding cartoons.

Also, you're getting tiresome to me Kwlly, you're getting tiresome to me.

(You do spend an awful lot of time on my site, speaking of desperation. :) But I love you just as I love all god's creatures.. Goes for you too Jackers).
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by scott
  Man you are fixated on David. You went to so much time and effort on something so weak. I think you are fixated on him. I think you love him.
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by Dominic
  I think it is hilarious that after spending three days coming up with a new page, David takes your links away. Back to 2 hits a day for you. HAHAHAHA! Brilliant.
  Monday, February 02, 2009 by Simon
  Still in the negative, I see.
  David's parody of you was spot on. I suspect he removed the article about you from his website out of pity for you being torn to shreds by all his fans.

You see, he's funny and you're not - that's why he has fans.

Give it up.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by Dominatrix
  you're about as funny as my tonsilitis...
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by glandulus
  "For those readers of mine that do not regularly patronize Mr. Thorne's site"

YOU HAVE READERS? (other than the ones you owe to David)
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by bob
  level 46 dwarf...
  the only thing that has been removed is the is still there - look at level 46 dwarf...miss the attention?
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by pava
  David Vs. Scot
  I really think David does an excellent job of satirising your cartoons and writing style. Your protesting only increases the hilarity.Also, your lack of web design skills are quite apparent, especially right here.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by Anon
  @You Idiots: Not to put words in Mr. Thorne's mouth, but should he not call you "SheepTM©®TM" at this point?

What I mean is: just because he says I have 2 "hits" does not make it true. (In fact, he doesn't seem to know the difference between hits, page views, visitors, and unique visitors, but why would he? Trained in lines and colours as he is). Just because he says I'm a level 46 dwarf does not make it so. (I'm level 70 now). :) And just because he says he has 60,000 hits per day does not make it true. (Again, he doesn't even know what this means).

And he certainly wouldn't give visitors to his site the ability to comment, lest he realize that everyone does not in fact love him. (Well, maybe you guys do, but there's really only been 7 or 8 people commenting here, so I guess that's a good amount for him).
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by scott
  You should sue
  what ever school you went to that actually let you get away with putting whole sentences between parenthesis... Also the condom brand that made such a defective product that allowed your conception.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by sheep
  I have a complete understanding of 'hits', I have been writing html and css probably before you received your first free copy of 'frontpage'. And no, I do not use dreamweaver. Sigh. As I run google analytics (unlike yourself), I know pretty much to the digit how many unique visitors, pages viewed, origin, entrance paths... I say 'pretty much' as google estimates when unique visitors goes over the 100,000 mark in a single day. Granted this is not every day. I can however count my unique visits since September in the many millions. Your hit counts are available on many public utilities and there is no reason for me to tell you your exact numbers on a public page. To be honest, I would not care if my unique visitors totaled exactly four as long as it was the four black sheep that I have met and become friends with through the site. I enjoy what I do, you seem to do it with angst. Yes, I also draw pretty lines, does it upset you that I am in the design field? I happen to like clean design and branding, it is what I do, you have a penchant for brown. All to their own.

I removed my links for three reasons alone.

1. Your absence indicated you were hard at work for three days sweating on this current masterpiece (which is the funniest page of the three) and I thought it would be hilarious to delete your links at the exact moment you uploaded this page. I would have loved to have seen your face.

2. Despite many of the comments on the previous page being gold and making me laugh out loud, there were also many that were just simply cruel without any wit and this playground is meant to be fun. I also do not like the "david is great" comments, linking to these seems like a wankfest. I did have a comments area on my site a while back and it seemed like public narcissism. I engage with my visitors through email and as I mentioned, I have made some very good friends that I otherwise would never have had the privilege of meeting. They are black sheep, you are simply beige.

3. You are not a friend so what reason do I have to play?

Regardless, David.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by David
  I noticed all your 'popular' articles just jumped to positive numbers. I had assumed the 'good and bad' buttons were based on pubic opinion, not yours alone. I actually found that one of the more humorous elements and it gave your visitors something to play with. You just took that away from them. No doubt my comments will be deleted and this page will be + 15 by tomorrow. All the best Scott.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by David
  C'est les idiots
  @sheep: I can put whatever in the hell I want between parenthesis. (Even this!) It's really up to me. (Seriously, it is (it might not be grammatically correct (you can always sue me about it))).

@David: I'm glad you have a lot of hits/visitors/etc. That's cool for you. I think I addressed that in a previous comment where I said that I'd had no idea what kind of traffic you had when I sent you that email. Ah, but it turned into a pissing contest about traffic anyway. Which reminds me, American Idol is one of the highest rated shows around here, yet it is complete shite.

I'd assumed that you didn't know the difference between the metrics b/c you'd said something about getting 60K hits per day. That's not a lot if you have a bunch of graphics/images/CSS links/etc. on each page.

I never claimed to get huge numbers of hits, BTW.

So to address your numerically inspired comments:

1) Not exactly true. I'd had friends over on Saturday and Sunday nights, got a little drunk, and somewhere in there managed to put together the above. It took me between 1-2 hours, and I find myself very amusing so it was time well spent. I can imagine it was hilarious for you to remove my links as surely you thought your massive I.V. of traffic was keeping me alive and well. Unfortunately for you, it wasn't as much traffic as you've hyped. And sure I love seeing a little bump to my visitor count, who doesn't? But it wasn't like I started crying or punching the TV when I found out.. In fact I got a chuckle out of it for the very reasons I stated in the updates at the top of the page.

2) Yeah, some people on the internets are dicks. Including myself. I didn't delete even the most hateful comments b/c, well, who cares?

I'm glad you've made friends through your website. Woopdie doo. I have not. I use personal interactions for that.

For the last time, it's not beige, it's Priceless Coral.

3) Nah, I guess you'd have no reason to.. I was looking forward to that game of cards, however.

Fantastically bombasitcally,

PS - I did not change the votes on the 3 pages regarding your site and the commenters from your site. I'll let those stand. The other pages' votes I rolled back to pre-Jan28 numbers because:

1) Based upon the comments on previous pages, people were negatively voting the articles just to be jerks. Their votes didn't accurately represent public opinion of my content and were spam.

You can see that even using the pre-Jan28 numbers, there are plenty of negative votes on my articles -- I've never altered those metrics before today, and I'm sorta sad that I have to.

2) As I've said in a previous comment: A LOT of the votes for single articles came from the same IP addresses and had the same UserAgent strings. My code only allows one vote per page per visitor to keep spam down, but there is a very easy way around that (as I'm sure you are aware).

No, your comments won't be deleted, nor will those of your "Black Sheeps". Again, I only delete spam, like the guy whom put "!!!!!" as the only content into 10-15 comments, and the guy whom put lots of whitespace to mess with the layout.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by scott
  Goodbye Scott
  Dear Scott,

This is the last time I will be visiting your site as:

a) I feel that your ego is too easily inflated by hits that you don't deserve and wouldn't have were it not for your parasitic relationship with David Thorne.

b) You seem to be mistaking your recent and fleeting popularity (which arose purely as a result of your connection with 27/b) with actual popularity and I do not wish to perpetuate this self delusion.

c) Reading your content makes me loathe the human race and all the sheep (such as yourself) in it to a greater extent than I believe is healthy for my sanity.

d) Your cheap humour (if you would call it that), poor sentence structure and overall obnoxiousness makes me feel physically ill and far outweighs whatever small amount of enjoyment I got out of mocking you.

e) The fact that you changed all of your negative ratings to positive ones demonstrates what an impossibly vain and dimwitted person you really are.

It has been nice knowing you.

Actually.... on second thoughts.... it has been fucking painful.

I hope a tornado hits your house and takes your 8 monitors with it so you can never pollute the internet with your drivel again.


Hayley the Fucking Annoyed

PS - I would pwn you at WoW you dwarf fuck.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by Hayley the Fucking Annoyed
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by Caitlin
  Ah, Haley, so sad to see her go!
  I'll briefly address Haley's comments even though (she claims) she'll never be back. I do this because I believe in responding to most every post I receive, as a responsible site owner should. (Oh, and because of course she'll be back to see what I thought of her comment! What ego!)

Dearest Haley,

My site has over 120 articles on it, only three of which were over this particular debacle du semaine. It's amusing that you think I'm obsessed / concerned / inflated with David Thorne based only upon my obviously brief focus on him (he and his dear, dear fans such as yourself). Do come back in the next weeks to see what I have in store for the next internet trickster to cross my path!

You are entitled to your views. Glad to hear I have made you ill though! That also amuses me!

And again with the traffic-pissing and the vote-changing? You could at least read the past comments in this thread before rehashing that tired old tale. (See my reply to David above).


PS - You realize that you come off as quite the idiot, making long speeches on my site and becoming ill rather than just not viewing my content.

& You might indeed pwn me at WoW if you both knew how to play and if you've spent so much time on it that you are already up to level 80 only weeks after the expansion pack came out.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by scott
  Ad nauseam
  To all of it.
  Tuesday, February 03, 2009 by Holly
You continue to prove via your witless, obnocious ramblings that you are a total and utter BELLEND!

  Wednesday, February 04, 2009 by Dicklock apparently
  delusional disorders are so hard to treat
  Wednesday, February 04, 2009 by reen
  as are delusions of grandeur
  Friday, February 06, 2009 by
  This is merely amazing
  Hello Scott my beloved

I love the fact that you actually believe that you are right. You firmly believe that you are the most amazing person on the planet and single-handedly have pulled the curtain and exposed the greatest fraud of all time. You refer to a fake visit-counter and hint that his visitors are friends and family... It is it like you have never visited any internet page beside your own and I myself is a frequent user of the nifty add-on StumbleUpon and I have stumbled upon several news paper sites referring to the art of Mr. Thorne. I am from Denmark dear Scott, and I have no relations to my new idol.

In this case there are no real arguments as it is a matter of opinion. You can blog regarding all the unfunny stuff in the world of yours (I just clicked about on your site and I myself find it rather doll and utter shit) but when you start bashing another blog which clearly is far more popular than your own, I find it wonderful to experience how you manage to make the biggest fool of yourself. "It is clear that I have won the argument, and am vindicated." You put so much effort into this and you still end up as a failure.

I also love how you try to appear as you are superior to everyone when you do not even catch up on simple sarcasm and try to force embarrassing conspiracies through.
You truly are Mintred the Magnanimous. I am beginning to believe David just made you up. Your statements are just too easy to tear apart and turn into comedy gold... Are you George Bush?! (Oh yeah, I love your typical patriotism as well.)

Conclusively, you are not funny and nobody care about your opinion concerning Mr. Thorne. I myself believe his email exchanges to be real, and even if they are not I do not care one single bit. At least you prove nothing with your retarded "grand journalistic exposé" as you like to call it.

Yours sincerely
  Sunday, June 21, 2009 by Rasmus
  "And yes, my web logs collect IP addresses. Web servers have been able to do this since 1994."

You are pathetic, and as seen here, a moron.
  Sunday, June 21, 2009 by
  OK, so I stumbled across this site through david's site.....
lets break it down like this, most large companies here in Australia have "quota time" on certain internet sites (so we all keeep working like good kids). The good sites, we are limited to 30 minutes.
Your site... NOT!!!
So suck it sideways dude!
  Thursday, June 25, 2009 by liz
  It's like you need a commendation for picking a fight with someone who everyone likes while you are just some lame ass loser. Your pointless, noone in your comments has sided with you (legitamitely, some have been sarcastic though). Why don't you just quit and move on? Or will you lose all your viewers then?
  Thursday, July 16, 2009 by thescroll
  Wow, it almost seems like this guy is some sort of satire, what kind of fantasy does this guy want us to indulge him in next? That using some horrible brown background and poor desktop publishing makes for a website?

Its been a while since I have come across such self-indulgent blogwank, let me tell you this, when the revolution comes, humourless, design blind turds such as yourself will be first against the wall.
  Tuesday, July 21, 2009 by Tom
  this website sucks
  Found this website through D.T.'s. It sucks. I'm going back to the funnier section of the Intertubes.
  Tuesday, August 04, 2009 by serious?
  David is hilarious. You are a boring hack. And you haven't proved anything, except for a few typos.

You suck.
  Wednesday, August 05, 2009 by Harold
  ostrich sydrome
  does it bother you that every time you pull your head out of your ass, everyone around you tells you to put it back in?
  Wednesday, August 05, 2009 by david is funny
  Interesting site...
  I know this guy who enjoys calling the police on parties, insulting homosexuals, watching Bill O'Reilly religiously, and kicking his neighbor's shih tzu when he's not around. This site feels like something he'd really like. I should refer him to it. And then leave quickly before he tries to sell me on the idea of white supremacy again...
  Saturday, August 15, 2009 by Jeff
  Blahblah blah blah blahblah.
  @Rasmus: Do you really believe that I am wrong? That everything on Thorne's site is 100% true? I have a "good book" for you to read, then.

His hit-counter is fake. It doesn't change for days at a time.

@liz: So, your company's IT department decides which sites are "good" and which sites are "bad", and then you just go along with that? I'd respect you more if you had an opinion of your own.

They may have to limit access to my site after all, once they see how much time you've spent on it reasoning out the longer words a syllable at a time, and then hunting-and-pecking out your clever and relevant comment.

@Tom: The background (again) is Priceless Coral, a colour which I've invented.

Of what revolution do you speak? Some sort of pride parade of graphic designers, marching in every country of the world at the same time? If your tools of the trade were something other than virtual scissors and virtual paste, I might have second thoughts about mocking you.

@Harold: I may have demonstrated a few type-os, but I've not proved any. Thanks for playing.

@"david is funny": This, coming from a man that had to look out of David's pee-hole in order to navigate my site? Get your head out of his ass, for god's sake.

@Jeff: Why do you hang out with white supremacists? And although I've never heard of it, I suppose that there could be an all around douchey Bill O'Reilly fan that also has a good sense of humour and would enjoy my site. For someone you describe so negatively, you seem to know him quite well. Is he your dad?
  Tuesday, August 18, 2009 by scott
  I have poop in my pants; hope it's mine.
  You almost caught me off guard, Scott. I simply said I know the man, I do not spend any time with him. And no, he is most likely not my father because I have never met my father. I suppose it could be him, but as he is younger than I am, extensive time travel would have to be taken into consideration and I do not think that is possible.
  Wednesday, August 19, 2009 by Jeff
  oh god the flames
  your "hacked images" are more obviously fake than davids site. at least his site is AMUSING, unlike your garbage (which people only read because of dave)

id like to end this with a good day to you, but your such a pretentious asshole that i cannot bring myself to say something nice to you.
  Friday, August 21, 2009 by scott wannabe
  "WHO", Scott, "WHO" !!!
Not "whom" !
You keep using the object pronoun "whom" where you should use the subject pronoun "who".
I don't know if you are doing this deliberately because you think it is amusing (it's NOT !) or if you are truly retarded in your knowledge of the English language (and remember it's the ENGLISH language, not the American language) and somehow think that it makes you sound educated (it doesn't !).
You can change your spell-check to proper English, you know, instead of that abomination you practise in our erstwhile colony. And, obviously, turn your grammar check on too.
  Saturday, October 24, 2009 by English teacher
  Give up
  Scott, you are about as funny as cancer! If I were you I would shut this site down as quickly as possible to save you any more embarrassment! There are times in life when you really just have to give up, don't be ashamed just go out and get a real job, because you really aren't funny enough to do this for a living!
  Tuesday, October 27, 2009 by Bobby Brown
  I've never seen such a fight between two websites before. We should make a movie about both of you! Or an Internet meme, it would be as powerful.
The other thing that amazes me is the incredibly egotistical personality you project on your site. It's so unreal, I really wonder sometimes if you're not a fictional character. You remind me of a video game character, Ace detective Luke Atmey, from the Phoenix Wright series. He's an annoying self-proclaimed detective who always speaks good about himself, saying he's the sharpest, the greatest and whatever, reducting others to stupid and illettred people. You're just as weak as him, searching an illusional power by pointing at others and boasting.
And by the way, do you really think you can fool people with the pictures you created? I mean, really, that 'haxxor' image is so fake it's sad. And even if it was a real hacking program and not linux kernel, David could sue you because you would have penetrated his computer without consentment, which is as illegal as penetrating his house.

Plus cave que ça, y'a pas,
Québec, Canada
  Friday, November 27, 2009 by VHS
  Wait, let me catch up. Ah, the timeless quality of these internetz.
  @Rasmus: Something is foul in the state of Denmark. And it's your nutsack. I can smell it from America.

"Are you George Bush?! (Oh yeah, I love your typical patriotism as well.)"

Yes, I am George Bush. You've found me out. Me and Cheney stopped having anal sex with each other long enough to make this site. We had to stop anyway because his doctor said that his heart couldn't take another Texas panhandling, and my doctor told me that my explosive anal leakage was a cause of being stretched by his "large-bore shotgun", as I like to call it, heh heh heh.


You don't have to tell me that you're concluding. It's obvious from the fact that you're writing the last paragraph of your thing.

[Whoops, apparently I've already responded to you. It's been so long that I forgot. I could just delete this post and act like I didn't bother, but this response addressed more of your concerns. Enjoy.]

@scott wannabe: No shit, idiot. It was made to look fake, sarcastically. Also, I drew those mock-ups of 27\6. You seem to be too stupid to realize that second part on your own, so now I've told you.

@English teacher: You filled out "English teacher" in the field entitled "Your name" in the comment submission form. Names are proper nouns, and so both words should be capitalized. Also, placing three exclamation marks after a space is not grammatically correct.

In fact, your poor usage of grammar in that entire comment leads me to believe that you are probably not an English teacher.

I also believe that it's incorrect to use exclamation marks in parenthetical commentary. Certainly it would not be correct as you've used it here: "(it doesn't !).

If you are a teacher of the English language (in England, no less !) then please print out your erstwhile comment and have one of your fellows give it a once-over. You should score a D+ at best.

The worst part of it is this: "I don't know if you are doing this deliberately because you think it is amusing".

You hit the nail right on the fucking head, and I'm proud of you. (REALLY I AM !!!)..

I find it to be marvelous "grammar-Nazi" bait, and I thank you for playing.

@Bobby Brown: "Scott, you are about as funny as cancer!"

Cancer is sometimes funny. Not when it effects someone you love, of course, but in general your own cells destroying your body from the inside is humorous. In an ironic sort of way.

"don't be ashamed just go out and get a real job, because you really aren't funny enough to do this for a living!"

Through what revenue model do you imagine I make money from this site? Really, I like to hear what you think.

@VHS (again): I'll do this one in my favourite list-form:

1) I would love to be a meme. Please contact the King of the Internet and make it so.

2) I am terribly fictional. But please, argue with me some more.

3) No.

No I don't think I can fool people with those pictures. Well, perhaps very stupid people. They are obviously very fake; an Homage to the very site of David Thorne Himself.

4) It is not a Linux kernel, it is a shell. Bash, I believe.

5) David could sue me, but that would be a very expensive undertaking, and I'm not even sure that it would work. (I am no expert on international tort issues, even if admitting this is a violation of my role as Ace Detective Balls Sacky, or whatnot).

6) I will not be penetrating anything of David's. I will save that for Lucius. (Whom didn't see that coming?)

  Monday, December 21, 2009 by Scott

And I'm truly relieved you're acting.
  Friday, March 19, 2010 by VHS
  I've spent about fifteen minutes browsing this site and I've yet to see anything other then articles bashing David Thorne. Wtf? What's your obsession?

David Thorne is funny, end of story. Probably because his site isn't completely dedicated to bashing you, but rather, coming up with entertaining articles.
  Monday, July 12, 2010 by Sue
  Alright, listen...
  I believe it's time to end this whole thing by spelling it out for you. David Thorne produces comedy. Comedy is often not based on any sort of fact or proven scientific theory. I'm quite sure that David Thorne does not expect his readers to believe every word he writes on his site, and if someone were to take every word he writes to heart, he might call them an "idiot". My point is, no one cares if it is made up but you. People read his articles because they are funny and entertaining. You "discovering" his "ruse" is like me suddenly discovering my feet. I realize you're going to respond with something like "wahhh, want me to call the shithead wambulance?" or something similarly unrelated and asinine, so you may save yourself the continued embarrassment. Also, one more point, I don't understand why you criticize others for referencing your ability to check IP addresses, seeing as you are the one continuously bringing it up in your articles. "How dare you comment on what I have said in my articles I myself have published on the internet?" I am very sorry for all your negative attention, but some people just bring things on themselves and must realize it. All the best to you.
  Monday, July 12, 2010 by Make fun of this name.
  This is one hell of a hissy fit. Talk about throwing toys out of the pram. GET A GRIP.
  Thursday, July 15, 2010 by Kay
  I googled David Thorne and this site came up...if you're making ANY kind of money from this site you need to be cutting him a cheque!

  Wednesday, September 15, 2010 by Adi
  @Sue: Are you an idiot, or being sarcastic? Perhaps you are just a very slow reader and you haven't gotten past the slogan at the top of the page.

6 of 10 of the most recent articles (see, there they are on the left side of your screen -- that would be the side of the screen closest to the "T" in "This bothers me", which you are probably still reading) are NOT about Thorne. 9 of 10 of the Popular articles are NOT about Thorne. 100% of your comments ARE about David Thorne. Well done, there.

@Make fun of this name.: Which 5 year old child supplied you with that idea?

You idiot, I know his email exchanges (& etc.) are fake, and I'm glad that you do too. However, when news reporters report them as fact, then that is unacceptable. I suppose you must not care, accustomed as you must be to constant lies in order to be such a fantastic moron on so high a horse.

Per your teachers: "You're so smart. You're the smartest 25 year old in the entire junior high school. Yes you are. A booshy booshy booshy".

@Kay: Hah, "pram". That's charming. Just charming.

@Adi: Hah, "cheque". This site is so cosmopolitan now. Priceless.

Also, how retarded are you? I should give him money because people from his site yelled at me? You at the very least must be on crack.

Wait... You're not the guy that pays his friends to hang out with him, are you? I don't mean directly, of course, but you put gas in their cars (autos), pick up the check (bill) at the pizza place (chip shop), clean their apartments (flats) for them, and take their laundry (wash) to the dry cleaners (fuzzlewaggums), don't you (thee)?
  Wednesday, September 22, 2010 by scott
  Work On It.
  I'm going to use two words here, and I suggest you look them up in your pocket dictionary and remove all traces from your writing. Here we go: Repugnant and redundant. Everything you write is infused with one of these two adjectives. Once you learn to write without it, maybe someone with Downs Syndrome will be soft enough to think it's worthy of reading.

Oh, and I can create "proof" of hacking into a computer with a screenshot of microsoft paint, too. Maybe you should try a little harder. And as for your logging of IP addresses and "investigating" the people who comment on your site... be my guest. But it makes you look even more repugnant (that's one of those words I told you about).

Postscript: Those drawings are eerily similar to your terrible comic about advertising. And the handwriting is the same. Are you sure you hacked this wholly credible source from someone's computer, or did you simply write it out while Momma was making your Mac'n'Cheese with hot dogs?
  Tuesday, September 28, 2010 by Grady Richards
  Your site sucks!
  Tuesday, September 28, 2010 by me
  I have never aspired to become a speechwriter, politician, or mainstream political columnist. Nevertheless, if you can look beyond my pitiable writing style you'll doubtlessly see that I have something important to tell you about Scott Q. Mintred. Before examining the present situation, however, it is important that I throw down the gauntlet and challenge Scott's habitués to operate on today's real—not tomorrow's ideal—political terrain. Some pigheaded ninnyhammers are actually considering helping him give an air of scientific impartiality to biased judgments. How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Scott on numerous occasions. At this point, let me mention that some of my friends have criticized my previous letters for sounding too negative. They suggested that I adopt a more positive tone in the future. Well, as I've reached the end of this letter, I guess I can try ending on a positive note: I'm positive that Scott Q. Mintred gives new meaning to the word "inane".
  Tuesday, September 28, 2010 by Richard Locke
  You engage in flame wars with commenters?
  Your writing is juvenile and your topics are uninteresting. Sadly, for someone who fancies himself a journalist of some kind, you engage in conversations with readers on your commment threads.

These arguments would be more suited to a playground. Fortunately few readers will return to the site to be "lambasted" by your wit.
  Tuesday, September 28, 2010 by unamused
  You seem to have put so much effort in this that I'm actually starting to believe you must be David Thorne.

  Tuesday, September 28, 2010 by Mel.
  David Thorne is actually clever and are not and its sad that you think that you are

Give it up.
  Wednesday, September 29, 2010 by chrissy
  What I think you are trying to do... ride David's coat's sad, lazy and lame.
  Wednesday, September 29, 2010 by Reactionary
  your grammar
  Sucks. You really need to learn the difference between who and whom.
  Wednesday, September 29, 2010 by DT fan in Blighty
  Might have something here...
  " Wow
You seem to have put so much effort in this that I'm actually starting to believe you must be David Thorne.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 by Mel."

You know, this actually makes a lot of sense. Definitely money to be made by playing both sides of the field, and this exchange would be far sadder (yet, somehow, fitting) if Scott is simply basking in the reflected glory of 27bslash6 while David is cashing the checks from the increased T-Shirt sales.

Anyhow, Scott or David or both, thanks for the amusement. I usually read news sites and the news has been really negative of late here in the States. Too many people taking things too seriously and way out of proportion. A good chuckle certainly makes my day.


PS. You just lost the game.

And the obligatory disclaimer, what with being at work:
"The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed."
  Wednesday, September 29, 2010 by Gesha
  Come back Scott
  Just wanted to say we all liked you Scott alot more at high school when we could 'censor' your mind-fuck ,annoying dribble by making you wear your 'Atomic wedgie' daily, rendering your flailing arms useless and unable to access a keyboard.
You've had quite a few 'new ones' torn, which I'm sure your multiple boyfriends appreciate...
Ah, miss u Scott, good times.....

And by the way-
This site best when viewed on a screen using 'anyone elses' eyes ,just not your own.
  Wednesday, September 29, 2010 by Big Mike
  If I give you $50 will you promise to go away forever ?
  yours is the unfunniest website I've ever had the misfortune of seeing. I am thinking of taking up a collection and offering the proceeds to you if you promise to go away forever. As an Australian, I believe it's fair (well almost a duty) to offer the same to Nicole Kidman and Kylie Minogue. David Thorne is a genius !! A funny genius !! perhaps you should look up the word "funny" in a dictionary because the word's true and proper meaning has somehow been lost on you.
  Thursday, September 30, 2010 by CazDog
  This is the worst thing i have read on the internet. You actually make me want to cut myself and then vomit in a bowl and drown myself in it.

David Thorne is a beautiful man. You make me look like a good person.

Go and play with pointy things without wearing protective equipment for everyone's sake.
  Saturday, December 04, 2010 by Adam

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