1  Get everyone's attention. You may have it already, or you may be ugly. (For tips on getting attention, please see the following: Sniffle and snort loudly with plenty of mucus. Then roll a blunt. Then cough a lot. Cough more. And then a lot more. Repeat ad infinitum. Or, simply say, "EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE AT ME AND MY SHOE!" Probably the better course of action).

 2  Take off one of your shoes. Only a shoe or sneaker will work. If you are a dirty, filthy hippie who goes without shoes or worse yet, you wear sandals made of hemp, you must kill yourself immediately and not read the rest of these instructions.

 3  Good. You're still alive. It is assumed you are currently smoking a cigarette (if not, borrow a cigarette from someone who is cooler than you, then start smoking it). Now exhale smoke slowly into the shoe. Seriously.. do it, or this won't make sense to anyone.

 4  Now, as smoke issues forth from your shoe, make way to the most obnoxious question in the joke-book: "WHAT'S THIS?"

 5  No one will know.

 6  "A JEW WAITING AT A BUS-STOP IN TEL-AVIV!"

 7  Everyone will laugh or you will be stoned. Or both. Depends whether you're with people, religious zealots, or pot-heads. Also, if the religious zealots are Islamic, they will probably then get you stoned on hashish, and you will be their best friend. Pretty much only jews will be offended and get you stoned in the bad way. Christians could go either way, honestly.