Hello again, all of you wonderful and smart and luxurious people of the Information Super Highway!

I return now after a long absence in order to bring to your attention this latest peril of web-browsing from the dastardly a href mailto jay david (sic).

It must be something about the name "David" that makes people invent elaborate lies for the purposes of tricking people in order to gain traffic to their web-site! One of my very best friends is named David, and he does not constantly lie to people to stoke his own ego. In fact, he is very honest (though sarcastic).

Hence my thesis is that people living in English-speaking countries aside from the US with the word "David" in their name are up to no good. This is very probable.

For you see, "jay david", or "JD's Man Stories", is from Toronto, which I have been led to believe is in Canada.

So, what has he done? He claims, in a video-of-text (which ruins the entire purpose of a web page [Update: Solved by a transcription]), that his girlfriend forgot that he was going to Europe for two weeks, and so ended their relationship in the manner of a bitch. Spoiler Alert: At the last moment before Mr. David's return, she realized that she was in error and attempted to mend the proverbial fences that she'd had sex with in his absence.

This is a fantastic premise for a work of fiction! However, he presents it as fact! The "video" can be watched here, and it does have a swell soundtrack:


While I Was Away
or 'The Europe Test', 'The Perils of Travel', or whatnot.

http://jdsmanstories.blogspot.com/2009/08/perils-of-travel_09.html

When you have finished watching it, you can also then see him kiss everyone's ass that watched the video for his amusement, twice.

By now you must surely be asking yourself, "That Em is a huge bitch?", which is entirely stupid.

Firstly, any man (or man-child as he may have been two years ago) that goes to Europe for two weeks with his buddies and does not pro-actively attempt communication with his girlfriend is looking for a dump as solid as any taken in France after a week of cheese. No one in Europe even has a home internet connection! Every apartment building and farmhouse has an in-built internet cafe. They also have "phone cards", with which one can call America for only a few cents per minute.

So this man that is allegedly so poor at governing relationships should not complain to the entire internet in a video-of-text that he got dumped!

Secondly, although some women are stupid, I don't think any of them are so stupid as to not understand something like a vacation. This is what would have actually happened:



Finally, as an obvious expert in writing things in the guise of others for the purpose of displaying it on the internet, I declare that all of the emails (excepting perhaps the first two or three) sent by "Em" were in fact keyboarded by the hand of this very "jay david".

My thesis goes on to suppose that this "Em" actually did forget the date on which "jay david" was leaving, and so sent him a couple of emails inviting him to dinner and brunch (or whatever the hell the "video" said). That misunderstanding was then surely cleared up, but thus spawned the inspiration that "jay david" sought to compose his grand ruse!

I also point out that all of the pictures shown in the video-of-text have the faces of the men pixelated. Presumably this would be to protect the identity of "jay david". You may then be surprised when I tell you that the pictures are not of Mr. David. They are scoured from Google Images!

Please, dear readers, do let me know what you think of this scoundrel!