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On the Subject of Naming Glasscock Road
Thursday, May 03, 2007 by scott

Update, May 10, 2007:

I have just found a response to my enquiry in the very comments of this posting, by one Carol Stauber. She has provided a full and interesting description of Glasscock history, and I thank her for taking the time. Look for her comment below, entitled, simply, "Glasscock Road".

I thank you for aiding to clear up the mystery Ms. Stauber!

Original Posting:

It has come to my attention, perhaps belatedly, that there is a road called Glasscock Road in Mission, TX.

I'm sure that this has been common knowledge of you internetters for years, because the name of the road raises more questions than answers. Surely it is a mystery that need be solved!

In the interest of putting the mystery to rest, I have posited on the origin of the name below, in cartoon format (of course).

Now, I'm no idiot. It's clear to me that there may be another explanation for the way in which the name came about. And I also know that since barely anyone from Texas visits my site, it may be that for the rest of time no one would refute my cartoon. To solve this problem, I sent copies of the cartoon to various businesses on Glasscock Rd., and also to the Chamber of Commerce and the City Hall of Mission, TX.

Please enjoy the cartoon, and bask in the knowledge bestowed upon you.

If anyone does dispute my ideas, I will be happy to post their counter-point on my site so that the rest of the world can see. I am fully open to alternate theories, for I am like a scientist, except with cartoons instead of science.

Here you will see scans of the out-going envelopes that were sent with the cartoon to various places in Texas. I am particularly anxious to see if the esteemed State Representative Jim Stauber has an opinion on how the road came to be named Glasscock.
Click the images to enlarge
If anyone whom received my cartoon in the mail happens to visit this page, then this is a basic FAQ for you:

Q: Why did you send this nonsense to me?

A: It is not nonsense! It is what I believe may have happened in 1874.

Q: My name is Jerimiah! What's the big idea?

A: The "big idea", hypothetical sir, is that I have explained how Glasscock Road's name came to be! If you're asking why I used your name, it's simple: Jerimiah was the first olde-tyme sounding name to pop into my head. This has absolutely nothing to do with you personally, unless you were alive in 1874. Then maybe.

Q: We do not believe that you should mess with Texas. It appears that you have messed with us in some way. What is our recourse?

A: You may, at your leisure, draw up a satirical cartoon about MintRed (or even New York or "The North") on a big piece of oaktag and send it to me. My real return address was on that envelope. I demand oaktag because those sheets are fuckin' huge. If it comes from Texas then it must be big, right?

Q: Right.

A: Good.
(30 to 52)
  Messin with Texas
  I mess with Texas all day e'ry day son. Believe it.

I even mess with Arkansas whens I wanna.
  Thursday, May 03, 2007 by Jordan
  Heaven and Hell
  Texas.. Thats what we call God's Shit Bucket where I'm from.
  Thursday, May 03, 2007 by Satan
  A dick of plexiglass
  I actually bought one of those from a store in FL for $50. The sales lady told me "You can heat it on the stove, you can freeze it, you can do whatever you want with it." Sold!!! Next time I come see you I'll bring it over. Not that anyone will want to touch it. It may have cooties.
  Thursday, May 03, 2007 by Cuntessa Vaginetta
  The saying should be "Don't Mess with Montana." What the fuck is even funny about "Don't Mess with Texas?" At least the first phrase has two M words in it.

It doesn't even rhyme or anything.
  Friday, May 04, 2007 by The Amazing A
  Tennessee, no wait Texas....?
  "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
  Friday, May 04, 2007 by Bumblin' Mumblin' Dubya
  i propose the possibility that this street was named after john glasscock of 1844, famous for his transparent and non-shatter-resistant penis, although many contradictory autobiographies claim he was actually just a mannequin. of a lobster.
  Friday, May 04, 2007 by strategic nucleus party
  Glasscock Road
  Almost all Glascock, Glasscock, Glascoke, Glassco etc... are descended from English aristocracy. My husband's line can be traced as far back as 1200 England. In US, all are direct to Sir Thomas Glascoke in Jamestown, Va. One of his 3 son's is my husbands 13th generation relative. The ancestral home still stands today in Virginia, named Indian Banks (below) started in 1695, completed in 1699. The land was site of Morraughraowna Indian chief, first surveyed by John Smith in 1609.

As for Texas history, city of Georgetown & Glasscock County (West Texas) are named after descendant George Washington Glasscock.
This line and my husbands line are descendants of George Washington's mother. (Indian Banks by the way is just up the road in Va. from Washington's Epping Forrest home). Handbook of Texas Online can give lots of info if interested in reading. Tx Glasscock name associated
with Anderson name. In Round Rock, Washington Glasscock Anderson's home still stand too.

Early Texas settlers, some came before Austin's 100. Have no clue as for the road being named. The only Glasscock I'm familiar with that far south is Gus. a wealthy oil man who patented the first off shore oil rig. But his line was mostly in Corpus area. Checking the genweb project for that Hidalgo county I can only find a few birth & death records, no census records or famous Glasscocks. There was a James
Robert Glasscock who died there in 1967 but I'm not familiar with him. ??

I hope that this helps answer your question about Glasscock Road in Texas
This came to me from a relative of the namesake of the road on which I live.
  Wednesday, May 09, 2007 by Carol Stauber
  The ancient history of the Glasscock name begins with the ancient Anglo-Saxon tribes of Britain. The name is derived from when the family resided in the township of Glascott, in the parish of Tamworth in the county of Warwickshire.
Only recently has the spelling become standardized in the English language. As the English language evolved in the Middle Ages, the spelling of names changed also. The name Glasscock has undergone many spelling variations, including Glascock, Glascott, Glascote, Glascoke, Glascok, Glasscock, Glasscoke and many more.
First found in Warwickshire where they were seated from very ancient times, some say well before the Norman Conquest and the arrival of Duke William at Hastings in 1066A.D.
To escape the unstable social climate in England of this time, many families boarded ships for the New World with the hope of finding land, opportunity, and greater religious and political freedom. Although the voyages were expensive, crowded, and difficult, those families that arrived often found greater opportunites and freedoms than they could have experienced at home. Many of those families went on to make significant contributions to the rapidly developing colonies in which they settled. Early North American records indicate many people bearing the name Glasscock were among those contibutors: Richard Glascock who settled in Virginia in 1635; Jane and Richard Glascoke settled in Virginia in 1643; William Glascott arrived in Philadelphia in 1851; Genworth P. Glasscock II settled in Long Island in 1710.

Some noteworthy Glasscocks:
Jack Glasscock (1859-1947), American baseball player
George Washington Glasscock (1810-1868), eponym of Glasscock County and Georgetown, Texas
Genworth P. Glasscock III(1804-1882), Directed slave trade for entire south-east United States
William Ellsworth Glasscock (1862-1925), Republican Governor of West Virginia from 1909 to 1913.

To address your post more directly, it is apalling that you had the gall to defile my prestigious family name in this manner. As you can see I come from a long line of thoroughbreds who have changed the face of this country with their ingenuity and ferver, they have made an impact since this countries inception. I would suggest doing some research before the next time you decide to slander someones name in this fashion. It is immaturity and ignorance such as this that is undoing everything my proud ancestors have built. Good Day
  Friday, May 11, 2007 by Genworth P. Glasscock VII
  The Last Guy
  That comment above this one was completely fabricated by the cartooner whom draws in the red pen. Phhht. What a diappointment, I'd thought that I'd created quite a stir.

Carol Stauber's response has been verified real, BTW.
  Monday, May 14, 2007 by scott
  not funny
  Saturday, January 31, 2009 by shelley the Unclever Bitch
  Texas is a big state
  "since barely anyone from Texas visits my site, it may be that for the rest of time no one would refute my cartoon."

...why are you limiting this to Texas?
  Wednesday, February 04, 2009 by Molly
  Molly, Molly, Nippleclamps Mollyclamps
  @molly: I limit this to Texas to make the point that those in Texas are too backwards (or too busy making swift, painful love to steers) to access the internet en masse.

Thank you for asking! You are always a vomit of fresh air upon my day!
  Wednesday, February 04, 2009 by scott
  I'm exhausted
  Ok Scott. I've just blown nearly two hours on your site. Ultimately I have David Thorne to thank (blame) because I got here via his site.

I've read your site from newest to oldest and I've actually watched you get funnier the older the posts are. In fact you are the comedy equivalent of the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Now let's keep this in context, you are still barely amusing. In the last two hours I think I've smirked maybe four times. I give you credit for actually making me laugh with your paper-clip speech balloon on your letter to RIM. Other than that this is pretty weak.

From what I can tell in the past 10 months or so you've switched jobs and gotten married. I think you should go back to your old job and divorce your wife if you strive to make people laugh. It seems clear your new life had destroyed what little sense of humour you had.

I'm exhausted having spent so much time on this site. I feel unclean. My recommendation is that you delete all content from the site except for people's comments after Jan 28th, 2009. That shit is gold.

Good luck Scott.
  Monday, February 09, 2009 by Mike the Timewaster
  Penis Cheesecake?
  Dear Mr. The Timewaster,

Your concerns are important to me, and will be addressed in a previous post.

However, perhaps you missed the humour of this Glasscock story. It wasn't that the cartoon was meant to be funny -- in fact I toned it down to be vaguely un-funny due to the fact that I mailed it to various people in Texas. That is the humourous part. And then I got a comment from a lady whom was a Glasscock (or some nonsense) which makes it even funnier. She took it with the utmost of gravity.
  Tuesday, February 10, 2009 by scott
  Explaining comedy?
  If you have to explain comedy you are one of the following.

a.) Not very funny.

b.) Dealing with a retard.

c.) All of the above.

Which will it be?
  Wednesday, March 04, 2009 by Doo Doo Magoo (skela)
  Gay for robots
  Hi fuck face. You are gay for robots.

You are are gay for robots.

You fucking dog shit breath murder fucker. Die, and yot are gay for robots.
  Monday, March 16, 2009 by Mintred DickLock
  Glasscock Road, and Texas.
  I'm from Texas. xD
  Wednesday, May 05, 2010 by Pants
  My vote...
  Doo Doo Magoo (skela), I reckon it's 'b' but I will go and vote 'c'.

Now what do I win for getting it correct?
  Saturday, July 03, 2010 by Frankie Ercel

My True Story (45)
Public Service Announcements on.. (-11)
How President Bush Works (-16)
People's View on Humor (-19)
The Titty Mongrel (-19)
"All in a Day's Rebuttal" (-21)
Inappropriate Cartoons (-21)
Tap Dancing (-21)
Naming Glasscock Road (-22)
Trump Steaks are Here! (-22)

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