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Transcript
{Outside Chinese buffet}
VIN: "Hey, let's eat there! 'All you can eat for $15'"
ME: "OK!"
{Inside Chinese buffet}
VIN: "Look at all the food! What a great deal!"
ME: "Yeah."
ME: (Eating food) "This food isn't very good."
VIN: "Yeah, but it is 'all you can eat'"
VIN: "Let's go get some more! C'mon!"
ME: "I don't feel good."
VIN: "Look, I got 2 more plates of food!"
ME: "I can't believe you're still eating..."
VIN: "It's like, free, and stuff.."
{Three trips to the buffet later}
ME: "You're going to die!"
VIN: "Nah, one more plate."
{VIN dies}
ME: (To ambulance carrying dead VIN) "I told you that you were going to die, you stupid greedy fuck!"
This poop certainly is poop even though that poop may not be poop. It may be fake poop. The only way to find out such things may be by smelling the poop. Although if the poop is dry it may not smell so much.
Another way to find out is to taste the poop. The alleged poop, excuse me. Butt tasting the poop is a rather gross way to find out and you may get a disease in the process. Diseases are undesirable because they will make you sick and possibly cause you to die. And no one wants that.
So it is that you are at an impasse. "To taste or not to taste [the poop], that is the question that pre-occupies our people captain. When Praxis exploded, we had no choice but to enter into peace talks such that maybe we could find out if the poop was shit".
And so the captain tasted poop with his smelly, smelly, guests and all rejoiced. Then he who is of the same name as me did something clever.
After all, if you are not hardy enough of body and soul to taste the poop, and you succumb to disease, then should you have been alive in the first place? Let's see who's in the mail today.
Its Darwinian, really, the tasting of the poop. As soon as you taste it, evolution takes its course. Maybe this is why we find the smell of poop to be a turn-off (excluding the Germans and Japanese, of course).
And of course there is the possibility that it is not poop at all. Maybe it is chocolate, at which point your soul will be lifted, as you no longer have the burden of worry for disease.
Unless the chocolate was baked in a chocolate-forge run by people with AIDS. Their AIDS blood may be in the chocolate! You cannot know!
Even still, the chocolate may have come into contact with poop at some point. Now that is a shitty prospect. Highly undesirable. Because as you consume the poop-laden chocolate, you are fooled into a false sense of security.
And all the while the poop festers in your gut, letting loose diseases that only a mad scientist could study, even with all the microscopes. He is not such a scientist that you would wish to reckon with on the reckoningist day of the year.
He will boil your blood in your legs. He will torment your arms with foul creatures. He will make you go mad with uncertainty.
Did you eat poop or did you not eat poop? Was it ever poop? Is this real at all?
You are left with questions only.
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