After a long, late night of drinking, we slept in for a while. Then, we spent some time relaxing. We also realized that since we hadn't gone to Casa Bonita the previous day (and going to Casa Bonita was the whole point of the trip), we decided we would go there for lunch. Jordan may have, at this point, worked out at the gym again.

This was an exciting time. We were filled with anticipatory glee. Who knew exactly what mysteries Casa Bonita would hold? Would it have cliff divers and a puppet show like in South Park, or would the cliff divers be hospitalized and the puppet show cancelled? Their terrible website held some clues, but could in no way portray the full majesty of the place.

Casa Bonita is in a strip mall, as all things are here in America. It is perhaps close to a pet store, because we were asked by two girls in a car if we knew "where the pet store is". The outside does not need to be described because there is a picture right there about it.

Attractions!	Family dining!	One hot deal!	A fake discussion!

As you can see from the picture above, we were greeted with a choice of food: Beef or Chicken. Either way it was $10.89. What a deal!

We proceeded inside through a labyrinth of passages and turns until we arrived at a cash-register where we were required to make important decisions such as "chicken or beef" and "what to drink". It turned out that we didn't have to pay yet, however.

Following the cash registers was the food line. What a bizarre and shitty setup. It's like a cafeteria, but with Mexican movie posters and tile. The pictures below sort of tell the story. Basically you get a tray and silverware in either red, blue, or green. Then you proceed to the area where a woman takes the food from a food-hole and gives it to you. After that is the drink station where a woman angrily provides you with the beverage you chose earlier.

The food line	Mexican posters	Trays and silverware	The food lady

The food hole	The food (uhhh)

Oh yeah, the food: it looked fairly Mexican. But it was, uh, sort of just a pile of stuff (more so than usual). But by this point we were all starving, and it looked and smelled delicious.

After obtaining your food and drink, you have to wait on yet another line (if you're counting, it's been cash register line and food line so far) to be seated. This would not be so bad, except that you need to wait on some stairs with all this heavy-ass food and shit in your hands. There is no place to rest the tray. Fortunately there were only a couple of people ahead of us, and we were quickly seated.

While walking to our seats we got a full view of the dining areas in all their glory. For you see, Casa Bonita does not just have a boring dining room like so many other restaurants! No! It has seating grouped in differently themed sections all centered around a big [fake] cliff, diving pool, and waterfall (JUST LIKE IN SOUTH PARK! HOORAY!)

We were seated in the pink area. The walls were pink, but the ceiling might have been a pastel blue, who cares though? The point is we were seated, and about to dig into our [seemingly] wonderful meal! We immediately declared the food to be "good, like crappy cafeteria food, but in a good way". And then some commotion erupted by the cliff. We ran to see...

A woman argues with a gorilla and a cowboy.	The gorilla with her hair

Every little while there is a show that takes place involving a cowboy, cowgirl, and/or a gorilla. The gorilla is constantly fouling the efforts of the cowboy to trap it, whilst the cowgirl seems to take the gorilla's side more often than not. There is also contention between the cowboy and -girl on various matters. All of that is irrelevant. The important part is that they do indeed dive from the cliff into the water pool, just as in South Park.

We made our way back to the table where some obese Mexican girl kept staring at us. Vinny attempted to get video of her doing this, but she stopped.

After deciding that we were done eating the crap-dick food, we wandered around checking out the other attractions.

Black Bart's cave..	Oooooo, scary..	Oooooo, scary..	Oooooo, scary..

Oooooo, scary..	Oooooo, scary..	Shit-ass kids	Oooooo, scary..

Black Bart's cave really was scary. Some kids were hiding in there and would jump out and yell. Also, it's probably a nice sized cave for little kids, but for us robust gentlemen it was pretty cramped. Also, they made it very realistic by not putting ventilation inside.

Oh yeah, the guy I was calling the "cowboy" before is actually Black Bart, and I think the "cowgirl" was the sheriff. I could go back and correct all that, but I don't fuckin' want to. It will help example to you the confusion of the place, anyhow.

By this time we were all starting to feel pretty ill from all the food, and we were getting more disoriented with every passing moment. But we persevered and went to the giftshop, saw the puppet show, and played some ski-ball (or however the fuck that's spelled).

Puppet show stage	Puppet show	Really small ski-ball area	More ski-ball

Finally, we were almost done, but then we got arrested. Fortunately they gave us weapons and liquor, so we broke out of jail with ease.

Fortune teller	Drive back

The food at Casa Bonita was to our stomachs as hands are to a man that despises hands. Not that any of us threw up or any such, but it was disorienting and uncomfortable (like Casa Bonita itself). So we laid in our various beds and watched a King of Cars marathon for a few hours.

Eventually, Jordan decided to work out again and Vin and Scott went swimming in the indoor pool and then soaked in the hot tub for a while singing the real birthday song.

Then we went out drinking, and eventually went to sleep, woke up the next day and flew home.

I would love to elaborate, but this is becoming tedious and there are no more pictures.